He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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