We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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