He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
