omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
