Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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