dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
