why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
