I wanna bring you to show and tell
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
