Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
