No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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