I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All I want is dick and wine.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize