I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
This toilet bowl is my home.
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