She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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