Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
