Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
