I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize