I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She's the barista slut.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
