I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
