I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
