it wasn't lemon gatorade
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
