your thong is hanging out like whoa
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
