I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
