Already got asked if we're dating
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
