No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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