margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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