Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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