It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
tell me about the fingering
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
