I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
