Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
not ubering you a puppy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize