Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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