Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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