Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.

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(303): View more from Colorado

At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You are an awesome peach made of glitter.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.

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