Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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