i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
