Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
