Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
