That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
