drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
