Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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