Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
