I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
