I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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