You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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