is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
