Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
