fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
