my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
