as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
