so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
