The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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