I heard we made out
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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