That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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