I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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