you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
