it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
