dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize