yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am naked and annoyed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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