i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
