so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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