hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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