So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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