it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
