So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
