hotel room ftw
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
