is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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